Unusual Ice Conditions

I saw this sign in Niagara Falls, Ontario (that’s Canada ya’ll!). I have no idea what this means. Roads freeze above zero? Roads freeze below zero? What exactly is going on here?

Niagara Falls is a beautiful sight, but this sign perplexes me.

Wall Street English

I found this sign on the Paris Metro. It’s worth noting that I took this picture at the height of the Global recession. Now, the causes of the global recession are…well…global, but that doesn’t stop folks in certain countries for blaming the U.S. and Wall Street for it.

I got a kick out of the fact that Wall Street is what they look up to here.

Nervous Disposition

Do you have a nervous disposition? Are you in need of professional help?

If so, don’t go to the catacombs in Paris, France. This is probably the only place I’ve ever been on my travels that promises to emotionally disturb you.

The catacombs are seriously cool and are well worth any emotional problems.

Back in a While

I found this sign in the window of the Galerie de Medicis in the Marais neighborhood of Paris (right off the Place des Vosges). What immediately struck me was that this is Paris and the sign is totally in English. Obviously, this gallery knows where’s bread is buttered – the Anglo crowd.

Tidal Waves

At Mont St. Michel in France, the tide comes in across a salt flats and has been known to swallow many a car – or that is the legend.

I love this sign.

Mont St. Michel Tidal Basin

Mont St. Michel in France is a rock outcropping, an island, that sits above an expansive tidal flats. It is a UNESCO World Heritage site and, like Venice, is the only place on Earth like it. The tide can come rushing in sweep tourists away. There’s a parking lot in the tidal basin and on very high tides it covers the parking lot. Thankfully, the folks in Normandie have put up a sign to warning unsuspecting tourists.

No Swimming

On the Normandy Coast (Normandie) coast in France, I spied this sign. No swimming. But sailing and motor sports are permitted. I liked the symmetry of this sign and the permitted uses. In the U.S., we tell people what they can’t do (no swimming, no sunbathing, no drinking, etc.), but in France they also tell you what you can do. It’s all very intelligent.

Dog Crap – French Style

The French do everything stylish. I mean they do EVERYTHING stylish. In Honfleur, France, I spied this sign along the inner harbor area.

The French can even make dog crap stylish. They’ve got these Hygiene Canine stations where you can pick up a little biodegradable baggie and then pick up after your dog. I LOVE it!

Open Bar

In the French countryside, I believe it was in the town of Dinan, we happened on this restaurant. The restaurant advertised an “Open Bar.” This one was lost in translation. The bar is open is very different than an open bar.

To bad it wasn’t an open bar! :)

Travelers Not Welcome

I love the United States of America. And I like being from the USA. But there are times that I’m embarrassed to be from the US. At Paris’ Charles de Gaulle airport, I had one of those experiences.

For many years, citizens of major Western European countries haven’t needed a visa to travel to the USA (and we don’t need a visa to travel there). But the geniuses at the U.S. Department of Homeland Security have come up with the Electronic System for Travel Authorization (ESTA). The other name for the ESTA is “Visitors Not Welcome in the USA.”

As someone who lived through the terrorist attacks in New York, I believe in strong immigration policy, but this is insane. Instead of targeting groups that are known to be terrorists for additional security screening, we are targeting all good and decent tourists and making it a huge hassle for them to visit the U.S. and spend their money.

Signs like this one might as well read: “Visitors Not Welcome in the USA.”

Europe’s H1N1 Panic

We were in France earlier this year and they were in a total panic about H1N1 swine flu. They had these signs up in the Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris. This sign is in the middle of the airport. Notice their suggestion for avoiding H1N1 – Avoid Public Places. Ironic.

US 101

US 101 runs the length of California and is one of those great road trips. It’s a legend! I snagged this shot in San Diego recently. It’s a great iconic sign.

No Radiation CT

I found this sign in La Jolla, California. The Thermo Body Scan Clinics offer no radiation body scans to check out your body. What is funny is that the scan is located on level CT. Of course, CT scans are done with radiation. I thought it was ironic.

Proactiv Everywhere

OK, I hate the Proactiv Solution. It’s in kiosks at the mall. It’s sold by mail order from TV. It’s magazine ads. It’s Sean Combs (a.k.a. Puff Daddy, a.k.a. The Puffy) talking about “smoothing his sexy” and “moisturizing his situation.”

And now…it’s sold in vending machines. So you can grab your Coke. You can get your Trojan condoms. And now you can get your Proactiv solutions. All from a vending machine.

I found this vending machine at a mall in San Diego. Technically, not a sign, but still interesting.

Redundancy

“Sheer” and “cliff” – talk about redundancy. But I love this sign. It reminds me of the signs at the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland.

I found this sign at the La Jolla Cove in San Diego.

Flying Melons

No, this post isn’t about Dolly Parton. It’s about Malibu Rum – Melon Flavor.

While in San Diego, we spent the day at La Jolla Cove. The folks at Malibu Rum decided to fly their melon sign up the beach. Seriously, I haven’t seen flying signs like this in years (how 1980s!). It was so old-school.

No Touch Squirrel

At the La Jolla Cove (in San Diego), I spied this sign. Talk about needing to explain the obvious to people. But here’s the biggest reason not to touch or play with squirrels – rabies. These squirrels at La Jolla look NASTY.

Lust

One of the great sins. I love lust.

I spied this sign in San Diego. Who the hell names their business Lusti Motors? I’m sure it’s somebody’s name, but it’s a dumb name for a business. Call it something else. Who wants a car from Lusti Motors?

Taco Shop

OMG. We’re driving down the road in San Diego and found this sign for a taco stand. And the name of the business is “It’s a Taco Shop.” Seriously. Absolutely brilliant! I LOVE this sign.

Petco Park

In San Diego, we went to a San Diego Padres game at Petco Park. Petco Park. I’ll say it again, we went to a game at Petco Park. Petco. It’s where the pets go. It’s where the Padres have gone – to the dogs. The Padres currently rank dead-dead-last in the National League West.

No rational thinking sports team in America would name their stadium after a company that hawks dogfood. This is beyond lame.

The stadium (known as Petco Park…until Sandiegans wake up and change the name) is kind of soul less and lame compared to other “new ballparks.”

All You Can Eat Seats

How American? At Petco Park in San Diego (home of the San Diego Padres), they have a whole section of “All You Can Eat Seats.” Oh My God! How gluttonous?!

You have to weigh at least 200 pounds to get a ticket out there. I’m not a slim person, but the folks out there make me look positively buff and sexy.

Political Signs

I HATE political signs. I think there should be a law that all political candidates have a legal responsibility to pick up their signs within 48 hours of an election. We had an election in Pennsylvania last fall and there are STILL signs up. I found this one for Jude Paula Patrick last week.

Judge Paula Patrick’s sign is effectively roadway littering. I wonder what it says about a judicial candidate when she flagrantly breaks the laws like this.

Trolly Stop Ahead

I spied this SEPTA sign in Philadelphia. Here’s what makes this sign interesting – it’s probably 45 feet off the ground and is so high up that nobody would ever notice it.

What if you placed a sign and nobody could see it?

Tracks?

OK, so there are train tracks ahead. And there are bicycles around. So am I supposed to swerve as I’m driving and not hit the bicyclists?

Or are bicyclists supposed to swerve all over the train tracks?

This is about the strangest sign I’ve seen. (Found it in Philadelphia)

No Blocking Trolley

I love signs like this SEPTA sign in Philadelphia. On a busy street, there’s a sign that people shouldn’t block the train. The street is packed with traffic. As if…

I love signs that don’t make sense.

Duck, Duck, Goose

Is it a Duck or a Goose? I found this sign in Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania. I have no idea what the animal is.

I love animal crossing signs!

Shooting the Picnicers

I love it! At the Daniel Boone Homestead in Pennsylvania, I spied this little gem. Only in Pennsylvania can you find a rifle range and picnic area in the same place. I wonder if you’re supposed to shoot the kids.

Dubai Propaganda

In Dubai, I spied this piece of government propaganda. The billboard features Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, the Prime Minister and Vice President of the United Arab Emirates (UAE) and the Ruler of Dubai. The birds have the flag of the UAE on their wings. He’s looking out on the skyline of Dubai and the Burj Dubai in the background. And his eyes are filling with the tears of pride…

Ah the propaganda! Only in Dubai would you have Ruler who has such an ego to put up billboards of himself.

Fast Food Dubai Style

After finding KFC, I also spied several other fast food joints. These were all found at the Dubai Mall in Duba, UAE. They use the iconography from the West, with the Arabic Script. Check out these gems from McDonald's, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. So all the Yum Brands are represented.

As I wandered the food court, I didn’t notice any locals eating at these establishments. I figure they must be here for the expats, holiday goers and the armies of migrant workers.

KFC in the MidEast

At the Dubai Mall in Dubai, UAE, I spied this KFC sign in the food court. Like Coach leather goods, KFC chooses to forgo English signage entirely.

The same big fat white guy (known as “The Colonel”) in the U.S. is the same big fat white guy in the UAE. Part of me wonders how this translates with the Arab locals and the vast legions of Indian migrant workers in the UAE.

Coach

In my grand tour of all symbols and signs in Dubai, I found this gem at the Dubai Mall in Dubai, UAE. Leather goods company Coach doesn’t use English on their logo at all. Coach uses Arabic signs only.

Baskin Robbins Arabia

I love logoed signs. The logo we know from the United States. But the language is different. I spied this Baskin Robbins sign at the Mall of the Emirates in Dubai, UAE.

Street Crossing

I spied this street crossing sign in Muscat, Oman. Now, most of these signs around the world use stand-up little figures. This guy is kind of squatting, almost like he’s taking a crap in his pants or something.

Horny

I found this sign in Muscat, Oman. In Oman, they don’t like folks who are horny.

This sign evidently means no honking the car horn. And I thought it meant no marching bands.

What do I know about it?

Arabic Skier

When you think Arabia and the Middle East, you don’t normally think snow and skiing. Well, I do. The highlight of Dubai is Ski Dubai – an indoor snowpark.

Although the one thing you have to deal with at Ski Dubai is inexperienced skiers, including falling skiers.

Dress Code

Dubai has a very strict dress code (see Be Respectful). I just love all of these Dress Code signs. I spied this one at the Mall of the Emirates in Dubai, UAE.

Be Respectful

I spied this sign at the Mall of the Emirates in Dubai, UAE. I thought it was completely ironic.

At the Mall of the Emirates (or in all of Dubai), public displays of the affection are frowned or, or are downright illegal. That’s public displays of affection between a man and a woman.

However, men can walk around holding hands or put their arms around each other. I noticed two guys with their hands on each other asses, stroking each other. Homosexual and homo-erotic behavior seems to be well tolerated.

Very ironic!

Priorities

I found these two signs on a health clinic in Dallas, Texas. I think it’s pretty interesting. The signs for the vanity health services (Botox, laser hair removal) are in English and Spanish. But the sign for the medical health services for kids are in English only.

I love Dallas.

Six Flags Irony

I found this sign about nature at Six Flags Over Texas in Dallas. Notice the bit about “attractive waterways” and then cesspool in the background. It’s a bit ironic.

Welfare Air

OK, I’ll admit it, I’m not really a fan of Southwest Airlines. Their fine enough, but too inflexible to really suit my needs. On a recent trip to Florida, I discovered their “no hidden fees” mantra was really B.S. You see, at Southwest, if you need to bump flights or do standby, you have to pay massive fees (in my case, over $200) just to have the opportunity to fly standby (no guarantee you’ll actually get on that flight). I call that a hidden fee. I’ve never found another airline anywhere in the world that makes you do that. But Southwest does.

And I'm not even going to tackle the class of people that fly Southwest. Flying back from Orlando, I was on a flight with fat, smelly Wal-Mart families. I think it's great that there's a bottom-of-the-barrel airline to serve them, I just don't want to be a part of that train wreck.

So, when in Dallas, I spied this sign near Love Field. I’m going to take a cheap shot at welfare air (a.k.a., Southwest) over this one. Most airlines advertise their non-stop flights. No Southwaste. They advertise their one-stop flights. Boy, talk about convenience. They charge such low fares because they are so inconvenient to fly.

Dallas Gun Culture Continued

I’ve blogged quite a bit recently about the obsession of the folks in Dallas, Texas and handguns. They’ve got signs all over the city about where you can and can’t take your gun. It’s kind of bizarre really.

At Six Flags Over Texas I spied a sign that might explain this. There’s a new Texas law that prohibits carrying a weapon into certain places, including theme parks (and presumably restaurants). This comes as a “duh” and “no shit” moment for those of us from other parts of the United States, but it’s really a novel concept to the George Bush drones in Dallas.

A truly remarkable cultural experience.

Consumers Get Shelled

I took this picture at a Shell gas station in Dallas. Talk about deceptive advertising! I think it is a deliberate attempt at screwing consumers.

So Shell offers 10% rebates on gas purchases on its credit card. So, they advertise earning $0.38 a gallon. Sounds like a great deal, right? Well, it’s based on $3.82 a gallon. If you look at the actual prices, it’s $1.45 a gallon. So, if you sign up for the Shell Card, you get a whopping rebate of $0.14.

Now, I know prices go up and down. BUT, this is clearly deceptive advertising. The last time gas was $3.82 in Dallas was….never.

Don’t believe the ads. Consumers get shelled at Shell.

Taco Bueno

Taco Bueno. Taco Fucking Bueno. I have no idea if the food at Taco Bueno in Dallas, Texas is any good. But I love the idea of The Good Taco. Sexual connotations aside, who doesn’t love a good taco?

Dallas Gun Culture

Dallas, Texas is obsessed with weapons. You’d think people carry guns with them everywhere. So, it is a felony in Dallas to carry weapons into an establishment where alcohol is served.

In most normal cities, this would be like a no brainer. You wouldn’t have to post the idiot sign alerting people to the fact that they can’t carry guns into a place, but in Dallas, it isn’t so obvious. You gotta talk to these people like their stupid and post signs everywhere so they get it.

Handguns and Fast Food

I spied this sign at a Chipotle in Dallas, Texas. I guess the folks in Dallas are in love with their handguns. But don’t go packing heat when you choke down on a burrito or you’ll face arrest.

In most cities, the legality of packing heat into a fast food establishment would be well understood. Don’t do it. But in Dallas, the folks are a little slow and need it spelled out for them.

Drinking in the Bathrooms

In most cities and states, you will find the ubiquitous sign in the bathroom: “Employees must wash hands before returning to work.”

In Dallas, Texas, they really don’t care about clean hands. They real problem in Dallas is fetal alcohol syndrome. Evidently, employees slip into bathrooms to binge drink before returning to work. This binge drinking continues into pregnancy. (I spied this sign in the bathroom at a Chipotle restaurant).

So remember in Dallas, don’t drink in the bathrooms.